Right, there’s another one. If you run a website, I’m sure you’ve gotten your share of these:
We found your weblisting on one of the back pages of Google. Wouldn’t you rather be up front? Our experts in Search Engine Optimization can help you become more visible and more productive. A quick email will get you details.
Thanks in advance!
Until someone figures out how to rid the earth of “SEO Experts”, we should at least try to have some fun with them. Recently, I’ve started compiling a list of SEO Experts who contact me:
Andy Gujral email@example.com
Austin Green firstname.lastname@example.org
Sylvia Abernathy email@example.com
Beverly Ralston firstname.lastname@example.org
Ivan Ballard email@example.com
Brooke Babcock firstname.lastname@example.org
Donna Gabriel email@example.com
Stella Fair firstname.lastname@example.org
Now, whenever I get one of these emails, I reply with interest (and a big budget) and then hook them up with each other to work out the details:
Wow, that sounds great! I’d love to be on the front page of Google and could use the extra traffic to my site! In fact, I’d be willing throw some money at that!
I can’t have my name associated with this, as you can no doubt understand, so could you please get in touch with our head of marketing, Andy Gujral email@example.com, and work out the details? He’s expecting your email.
Also, I’m going to be on the road and out of touch for 10 days, so if you do run into any confusion with Andy, just tell him to get in touch with my executive assistant, Donna Gabriel firstname.lastname@example.org and mention “Project P”. She’ll know what to do.
Thanks again, Silvia! I’m really looking forward to getting started, and watching my traffic GROW!
Now, just sit back and wait. After a while, you’ll start getting back discussions happening between Silvia, Andy and Donna trying to figure out what’s going on and asking for clarification (politely, of course — because, well, you’ve still got that bucket of money):
I apologize for the confusion, but can you please clarify what you plan to coordinate between myself and Andy? My client is interested in a partnership for your page – http://new.dafacto.com/2005/08/25/macos-x-backup-strategy/ . I’m not sure what Andy has in mind, but we are just interested in working with you to place a resource related to online backup on this specific page of yours.
Perhaps I failed to follow up with Sylvia at email@example.com about the details. I have no record of contacting her, so maybe that is where the miscommunication started. Should I forward details to her? My impression is Andy wishes to collaborate with you for some opportunities unrelated to my inquiry. When you get a chance please let me know how you wish to move forward.
At this point, just send them all off to a different “executive assistant” and start the ball rolling again. 🙂