Spamming the SEO Spammers

Right, there's another one. If you run a website, I'm sure you've gotten your share of these:

Hi there!

We found your weblisting on one of the back pages of Google. Wouldnt you rather be up front? Our experts in Search Engine Optimization can help you become more visible and more productive. A quick email will get you details.

Thanks in advance!
Silvia Abernathy

Until someone figures out how to rid the earth of "SEO Experts", we should at least try to have some fun with them. Recently, I've started compiling a list of SEO Experts who contact me:

Andy Gujral andy@perfectyourpromotions.com
Austin Green austing@internetreach.org
Sylvia Abernathy sylviaabernathy67@gmail.com
Beverly Ralston beverlyr.r@gmail.com
Ivan Ballard lvanballardballard@gmail.com
Brooke Babcock bellagarza25@gmail.com
Donna Gabriel donnagabriel010@gmail.com
Stella Fair stellafair23@gmail.com

Now, whenever I get one of these emails, I reply with interest (and a big budget) and then hook them up with each other to work out the details:

Hi Silvia!

Wow, that sounds great! I'd love to be on the front page of Google and could use the extra traffic to my site! In fact, I'd be willing throw some money at that!

I can't have my name associated with this, as you can no doubt understand, so could you please get in touch with our head of marketing, Andy Gujral andy@perfectyourpromotions.com, and work out the details? He's expecting your email.

Also, I'm going to be on the road and out of touch for 10 days, so if you do run into any confusion with Andy, just tell him to get in touch with my executive assistant, Donna Gabriel donnagabriel010@gmail.com and mention "Project P". She'll know what to do.

Thanks again, Silvia! I'm really looking forward to getting started, and watching my traffic GROW!

Regards,
Matt

Now, just sit back and wait. After a while, you'll start getting back discussions happening between Silvia, Andy and Donna trying to figure out what's going on and asking for clarification (politely, of course because, well, you've still got that bucket of money):

Hi Matt,

I apologize for the confusion, but can you please clarify what you plan to coordinate between myself and Andy? My client is interested in a partnership for your page - /2005/macos-x-backup-strategy . I'm not sure what Andy has in mind, but we are just interested in working with you to place a resource related to online backup on this specific page of yours.

Perhaps I failed to follow up with Sylvia at sylviaabernathy67@gmail.com about the details. I have no record of contacting her, so maybe that is where the miscommunication started. Should I forward details to her? My impression is Andy wishes to collaborate with you for some opportunities unrelated to my inquiry. When you get a chance please let me know how you wish to move forward.

Best,

Austin

At this point, just send them all off to a different "executive assistant" and start the ball rolling again. :-)